Why the statement “I’m not like other girls” is unhealthy.

I think everyone- regardless of what one may identify as- has been exposed to misogyny or the patriarchy before. When most people visualize those in their head, I think that our minds usually think of something extreme (Like burning women at stake, or denying women the right to vote.) But the hardest part about misogyny is that it can come in so many different forms that we may not even realize it’s there. This is most present within internalized misogyny. 

Internalized misogyny comes out with one’s attitude or behavior against women. Phrases like “You run like a girl” or “You’re not like the other girls” (Remember the second phrase, by the way) are prime examples of this. Another difficult aspect is that people assume that misogyny is only spread by men, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. In fact, I find that internalized misogyny can be found in girls more often. You’d think that after centuries of fighting the patriarchy, we’d at least try and not make each other enemies as well. 

“I’m not like other girls” Might be the most common phrase that exemplifies internalized misogyny. Many girls exemplify this phenomenon in order to make themselves seem unique, and often compare themselves to ‘other girls’ as an oversimplified group. This is often done through taking on traditionally masculine traits, like sports or video games, or through rejecting traditionally feminine traits like makeup or fashion. You’ve probably come across many videos or artwork that discuss this topic. On social media, especially Tiktok, many users have dubbed these girls as ‘Pick me girls’. I have a strong feeling that the idea behind that name stems from the fact that one of the main reasons many identify with this phenomenon is for male validation. 

Male validation goes hand in hand with this phenomenon, and unsurprisingly, also stems from the patriarchy. From such a young age, many girls are taught to seek the approval of men in order to be happy or fulfilled. Though there are other reasons, I believe that this is the main cause of the phenomenon at hand. Look at it this way: If you're stereotypically more like a traditional male, then you’re more likely to be picked by one. What these people don’t realize is that you can like sports, video games, or other masculine things without putting others down for it.